An inability to accept ourselves…
Why Self-Acceptance matters
The topic of self-love and self-acceptance has been buzzing for the last two year. In fact, even in the last week, I must have read about it more than twenty times! But despite hearing the words “self-acceptance” and “self-love” everywhere, what do these statements even mean. And why are they so important?
One of the things I often see in my clients is the pressure they put themselves under: to “be better,” to “be enough,” to “do enough…” It’s a never ending cycle, that from my own personal healing journey I know too well. So speaking to ourselves like this, is a wonderful way to continually feel bad 😒 And it’s actually the opposite of self-acceptance..
Because, when we make our own happiness and contentment dependent on what we are, how much we do, and what we achieve, we are continually running after these things. We never give ourselves the gift of Being as we are by simply accepting ourselves – the whole spectrum – as we are.
Self-talk Runs Deep!
I know it’s not easy. We’re brought up in a consumerist world where everything has to be more – bigger, better.. and it’s exhausting! But our true nature is not about Doing, rather it’s about Being. And that’s where the way we speak to ourselves has a BIG influence on whether we want to spend time Being with ourselves or not.
Because if you speak to yourself – as I used to – in a harsh, critical, or judgemental way, it doesn’t make you feel good. And who wants to spend time with a person who speaks like that? No-one! So why do we do this to ourselves?
True self-acceptance begins with changing the way we speak to ourselves. It begins with consciously taking control of our inner voice and transforming it from an unfriendly or critical or cold one, to a voice that makes us feel loved, seen and cared for. So my simple question to you is this:
“How do you speak to yourself?”
”Talk to yourself like someone you love.Brene Brown
Please Be Honest.
This isn’t about judgement, it’s about truth. If you reflect within and realise that your self-talk could be kinder, more supportive and more loving than it currently is, then let’s do something about it! This is an exercise from the section on self-acceptance in my upcoming Express YourSELF! course. To do it, you’ll need to stand in front of a mirror at eye level.
- Place your left hand on your low belly and your right hand over your heart. Begin to deepen your breathing and drop deeper into your inner awareness.
- Look into the mirror. Look deep into your own eyes. Know that you’re safe. Know that whatever you feel in this moment is OK.
- When you’re ready, try saying, “I love and accept myself as I am today.”*
- Repeat this five times out loud.
- You may like to gently rub your right thumb across your chest as you do this to give yourself extra comfort and support.
- This is a simple exercise, but it goes very deep, and I recommend time afterwards for you to fully integrate your experience.
***At step 3, if it’s too difficult for you to say “love” try saying “like” or “appreciate” instead.
Jessica, GermanyHuman Resources
“Kirbanu trains so much more than just the voice. Her work transforms the body, mind and soul. Kirbanu uses playful exercises and effective techniques to help me connect to my authentic voice and change any block or beliefs holding me back. And she does it with a lot of heart and humour!”
Marie Brauburger, GermanyText & Copywriting Coach
“Voice training with Kirbanu is really fun! She creates a trusting atmosphere and has an incredible number of tips on how to use and cultivate your own voice. I've only had a few sessions, and I'm already seeing huge progress 🙂 Speaking freely in front of the camera is much easier for me now!”
Samantha, GermanySocial Media Manager
“Thanks to Kirbanu, I see my voice as a tool that shows me in which situations I can relax more or where there may still be issues or beliefs that need to be resolved. I trust myself and my voice more now!”
Kelly, FranceProject Manager
“This work was amazing! Kirbanu taught me to let my whole voice out!”
Diana, GermanyAuthor & Psychologist, Germany
“Kirbanu has been with me for 6 months now and a lot has happened in different areas of my life, because the voice also represents so many beliefs, topics and wounds in us... Our self-expression, lived out freely and safely, opens up many doors and gives us a whole new quality of life. I'm so grateful for this work!”