An inability to accept ourselves…
Why Self-Acceptance matters
The topic of self-love and self-acceptance has been buzzing for the last two year. In fact, even in the last week, I must have read about it more than twenty times! But despite hearing the words “self-acceptance” and “self-love” everywhere, what do these statements even mean. And why are they so important?
One of the things I often see in my clients is the pressure they put themselves under: to “be better,” to “be enough,” to “do enough…” It’s a never ending cycle, that from my own personal healing journey I know too well. So speaking to ourselves like this, is a wonderful way to continually feel bad 😒 And it’s actually the opposite of self-acceptance..
Because, when we make our own happiness and contentment dependent on what we are, how much we do, and what we achieve, we are continually running after these things. We never give ourselves the gift of Being as we are by simply accepting ourselves – the whole spectrum – as we are.
Self-talk Runs Deep!
I know it’s not easy. We’re brought up in a consumerist world where everything has to be more – bigger, better.. and it’s exhausting! But our true nature is not about Doing, rather it’s about Being. And that’s where the way we speak to ourselves has a BIG influence on whether we want to spend time Being with ourselves or not.
Because if you speak to yourself – as I used to – in a harsh, critical, or judgemental way, it doesn’t make you feel good. And who wants to spend time with a person who speaks like that? No-one! So why do we do this to ourselves?
True self-acceptance begins with changing the way we speak to ourselves. It begins with consciously taking control of our inner voice and transforming it from an unfriendly or critical or cold one, to a voice that makes us feel loved, seen and cared for. So my simple question to you is this:
“How do you speak to yourself?”
Please Be Honest.
This isn’t about judgement, it’s about truth. If you reflect within and realise that your self-talk could be kinder, more supportive and more loving than it currently is, then let’s do something about it! This is an exercise from the section on self-acceptance in my upcoming Express YourSELF! course. To do it, you’ll need to stand in front of a mirror at eye level.
- Place your left hand on your low belly and your right hand over your heart. Begin to deepen your breathing and drop deeper into your inner awareness.
- Look into the mirror. Look deep into your own eyes. Know that you’re safe. Know that whatever you feel in this moment is OK.
- When you’re ready, try saying, “I love and accept myself as I am today.”*
- Repeat this five times out loud.
- You may like to gently rub your right thumb across your chest as you do this to give yourself extra comfort and support.
- This is a simple exercise, but it goes very deep, and I recommend time afterwards for you to fully integrate your experience.
***At step 3, if it’s too difficult for you to say “love” try saying “like” or “appreciate” instead.