Learning to Love Yourself & Why Self-Love is Important

The topic of self-love has been buzzing for the last two year. Even in the last week, I must have read about it twenty or so! But despite hearing the words “self-love” everywhere, what the dang does this statement even mean and why is it so important?

Self-love to me means appreciating and accepting who we are. It’s something that grows from our actions overtime – from how we treat ourselves and how we talk to ourselves. It’s an inner flame that needs to be nurtured and that nurturing takes time. In that sense, self-love is a lifelong commitment to ourselves – to listen to our needs, to treat ourselves well, and to get to know who we really are.

Learning to love the unique individual we are, means learning to give unconditional respect, kindness and understanding to ourselves. This is an ongoing process that helps us to recognise that we’re worthy, valuable, and deserving of happiness as we are. And doing this actively each day, teaching us to own the responsibility of cultivating self-love within ourselves.

Your task is not to seek for Love, but to find the barriers within yourself you have built against it.

Rumi

Download your  free 10-minute Guided Meditation for More Self-love

5 Tips for Nurturing Self-Love

1. Create a Self-Love Mirror Ritual

This is this first thing I do in the morning when I look in the mirror. Pausing, I look into my eyes and say to myself, “I love you.” I say this a few times and really say it with meaning. This may be strange for you at first, but overtime I’ve found it to be a wonderful way to develop a positive relationship with myself. Try it out and see how it feels for you.

If you need more support with this, download my free self-love meditation and I’ll talk you through the process so you don’t need to feel alone.

2. Transform Negative Self-Talk

Sometimes we talk to ourselves in ways we’d never speak to another person. This leaves us feeling really bad about ourselves, so policing our self-talk is important in nurturing self-love. How can you do it? Try to become aware of your inner voice. If something happens and you catch yourself speaking badly to yourself, stop the pattern immediately. Say “stop!” Take a moment to breathe in and out, and then replace the negative self-talk by saying, “I love and accept myself as I am in this moment.” Again, this may sound weird but it’s honestly helped me a lot. Try it out for yourself.

3. Make “Me” Time

Make time for yourself at a specific time within a day that’s just for you, and use this time consciously to treat yourself well. This is a date with yourself so close your computer, and put away your phone! Find out it means for you to “treat yourself?” Maybe it’s cooking your favourite meal or listening to inspiring music. Maybe it’s having a bath with scented candles or giving yourself a 15-minute foot massage. Whatever it is, block this time out – just for you. Get curious, be playful and see how much fun you can have with it!

4. Acknowledge your Achievements

This step comes directly from my eBook The Morning Mindful Practice and is the fourth priming question in it. Recognising and acknowledging ourselves for what we have done achieved is a great technique to help us feel good, be inspired and develop fresh motivation. How can you do it? Find one thing in the last few days you did that was a challenge for you – however big or small – and say, “I acknowledge myself for having achieved (insert challenge).” And, most importantly, take a moment to feel how doing this feels for you. Drink it down all the way into your toes!

5. Develop Mindfulness

When we are more mindful of our needs, thoughts and feelings, we can better serve ourselves and others. We can make more informed decisions about what to do – and NOT do – in any given moment, and we understand when we need to say no. Like self-love, or yoga, mindfulness is something that needs to be developed overtime through patience and practice.

If you’d like more support with this I’ve created a 7-day beginners guide to mindfulness meditation series. In it I share 7 helpful techniques I use on a daily basis to cultivate my own mindfulness practice. You can find out more about it, and listen to samples of the meditations for it, here.

Do You Have Questions? Then Get In Touch

If you’re curious about developing mindfulness and have questions, then I’d love to hear from you. With over 15 years of experience in coaching and meditation, I can help you by being a stepping stone for you to start on in your own inner journey.

Photo of Voice Training coach, Kirbanu, in Ubud, Bali

Your 7 Days of Mindfulness – Guided Meditations & Audio Series

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